Friday, February 20, 2015

Humor: Life Cycle of a BD immigrant in the US of A

Here is the brief mail about US Life of a professional immigrant. Neither pessimistic nor optimistic, but simply realistic.


First 3 months:
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Has got his SSN, managed a driving license after quite a bit of difficulty and fear; managed a second hand car; rented a decent apartment; Spending about $500 on phone bills calling up every friend and relative.

Next 3 months:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Finds to his shock that he has less money in bank than he had during the big consultancy trips (when he knew that he used to get peanuts and hence lived within his means sharing a apartment and a car with 4 people and saved some money really)!! So now he starts making huge cuts in telephone Bill (first he starts with his home calls and close friend calls -huge cut) and is happy to see the bill cut down to 250$

Next 6 months: 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Has some friends by now, makes some trips to Niagara, New York city and White House.

Experienced a winter and fed-up with his car not starting, decides to buy a new car, feels lonely, thinks of his marriage.

Next 3 months:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Decides to call up his family about searching for a bride. Company asks him about green card, has 2 minds, change jobs for 10K increase, or stay content with 5K increase given by the present company.

Next 3 months: 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He fixes a trip after daily hunting for the cheapest ticket, goes home (Bangladesh) with quite a few gifts for his family, fixes a girl!!! Comes back to the US in 3 weeks, as he knows he will be going back home after 6 months for  marriage.

After 6 months: 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Gets married, now he is for sure his dream of coming back in 3 years is becoming pale!!... He has to spend $3000 on travel next time to go back home; he has spent a lot in car repayment; 2 Bangladesh trips and in gifts; now  he won't go back for 2 years: meanwhile he has to get his green card any way; (so he consoles himself that circumstances forced him to stay rather than blaming his will power).

2 years further:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Makes a trip home, buys more gifts for the wife's side relatives than his own brothers and sisters!! Calculates every dollar, but finds out to his surprise that salaries in Bangladesh have grown greatly,and also the  cost of everything, now his savings will buy only 1 flat in Dhaka, he won't have any cash if he thinks of settling (in Bangladesh); decides that he will stay in the US for another 3 years and concentrate more on saving and come back to Bangladesh for good.

3 years in US: 
~~~~~~~~~~~~

Has kid (his mother-in-law came during delivery; he was worried all along that should they fall sick, he will be gone in medical care; he prays to God more than he prayed for his school final marks or JEE/CET seat). He is a family man; thinks that if his 2-year old daughter stays in US -after she is 7-8 years of age, she will have all those bad habits, so makes a plan to go  back after 5 years, when his daughter would have seen the Disney Land and nice things when she is not yet spoilt by the western culture.

4 years: 
~~~~~~~

Makes a trip to Bangladesh with a 20% hope of returning to Bangladesh. His retired father with BP and diabetes and mother with heart problem are in the forefront of his thoughts. But he goes to a few companies, (His ego a little hurt as he was working as a programmer in US, in spite of having good knowledge and had managed 10 people team in Dhaka), he expects to be appointed as a general manager; but doesn't get one; or even if he gets, compares with $70K and finds it peanuts, so he decides to show his parents to a doctor; asks his neighbors to look after them; and gets on a plane to the US;

5 years down the line: 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

His wife likes the US, and she does not have the problem of the pestering of her mother-in-law. Halts all plans of her husband's thoughts of returning home.  Wife visits Bangladesh during December season, shows off and then comes back to US (While in Bangladesh she talks to her relatives about her own car; kids class in Denver suburbs; her relatives exclaim that they  are still so Bangladeshi)....

10 years later: 
~~~~~~~~~~~~

Our man is in his 50s. He suddenly remembers the Bengali culture. Is reminiscing in his dreams of the past about reciting poems at 6PM in New Market, the coffee in front of Dhaka College. He wants all of them back. So goes to Bangladesh (but  doesn't find it and that all are not truly continuing; blames Bangladeshis for forgetting culture;) Buys a big flat; and decides to come back in 2 years;

After 2 years:
~~~~~~~~~~~

He goes back to Bangladesh but not with his family; his children Sweta and son Nikhil are going to SCHOOL (at  Michigan university, not in our terms an university;  he calls it school) and are likely to get settled  there with Steve and Susan respectively. He does not like it; but can't help it and so accepts it without saying anything; wife accepts it more realistically;  but still blames the circumstances (had I got $ 70K  when I passed out Engineering, would I have come here and spent 30 years here. He does not remember that rest of the Bangladeshi earned only 1165 + city allowance  * DA relief of 180 Dhaka ifty paise when he got 3500 in Campus and got 1000 hike every 6 months in his software consultancy company). Now in his sixties at Dhaka ; he goes to mosque; his neighborhood flats kids are wearing American T-shirts, watching MTV. Our man is feeling bad that they are growing too Western; he passes his last days hoping his son and daughter will join him at death; (doesn't remember that he sent only get well card and made few telephonic calls using AT&T, MCI cheap rate durations than attend to them personally but still expects his son will come & nurse him)... the good treatment at Dhaka  Hospital has restored his health; now he can  walk to the corner shop and negotiate coriander leaves for 50 paise spoiling the poor daily wage earners' meager earnings)... And now our man rests in peace at an old age home!!!

A ten thousand miles journey begins with a single step. That single step has to be taken from where you are. Worries are no solution to any problem.

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In honor of our honest and hard-working immigrants.

(Collected)

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